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my confession for today: I despise change!

Happy Fathers Day

It’s 9:30 am and not a creature is stirring not even a mouse…well ok what I mean is no one is home…mr gp got up at 5:30 to take his dad fishing,oldest and middle bean are at the sperm donors and *tear* lilest bean went to Arkansas yesterday to spend a few days with the floozie, I mean Aunt Becky,Uncle Chad and her 2 cousins.

Lilest bean just called and of course the first words outta my mouth were “I love you & are you ready to come home?” her reply “a lil giggle, I love you too and no mommy” me “ok I was just checkin” she was calling to wish her daddy a happy day…

So to all the Dads,Uncles,Grandpas,Brothers, to any male who may have played a Fatherly role heres wishing you all a

VERY Happy Fathers Day!

My confession for today: I hope mr gp likes his new electric knife & Mad magazine subscription

OMFG pt2

Ok I am now out of the fetal position,my tears are semi dry and I am coming to terms with flying…sorta…

I called southwest cuz that’s who I am flying with and got a lovely lil guy named Scott-he was very helpful…

here is a brief rundown of our conversation:

“Thank you for calling Southwest airlines this is Scott how may I help you?”

“me: Hi Scott- this is Georgie and I have a question

Scott:yes georgie I will help you whats your q?

me: so we can fill a quart size baggie with bottles in our carry on right?

Scott: yes ma’am

me: please don’t call me ma’am I am only 37 that makes me feel old

Scott: oh sorry ma’…ummm I mean georgie how may I help you

me: about those quart size baggies…how many lil mini bottles of vodka do you think I can get into one?

Scott: ma’… ummm georgie Alcohol (wine and liquor) must be in the original unopened container with the manufacturer’s label when transported in or as checked baggage.

me: …how carefully do they check your baggage at the security check point?

Scott: georgie, all alcohol must be checked in prior to boarding and must be securely packaged in a leak-proof bag with adequate professional packaging designed to fit the proportions of the bottle to prevent breakage.

me: Ok I see but do they check your carry-on really carefully? cuz last time I flew I made it through with a lighter

Scott: Checked baggage will be screened and is subject to physical inspection as mandated by the TSA, can I have your confirmation #

me: Ok and ummm I have another q…

Scott: yes Mrs Johnson

me: oh please call me georgie

Scott: yes Mrs John ummm georgie

me: can I put anything I want in those clear lil 3oz bottles?

Scott: well georgie typically travelers put their basics in those bottles like shampoo,conditioner etc…

me: so say I wanted to put some vodka errrmmm water in one of those bottles it would be ok?

Scott: ma’am ….

me: ok ok what size does my rollie bag need to be to carry it on and store it in the over-head bin?

Scott: Southwest Airlines limits carryon bag dimensions to 10×16x24 inches

me: so thats a pretty small lil rollie huh?

Scott: it works for some travelers

me: ok I noticed when I booked my flight there was no seating assignment

Scott: yes that is correct you may print a paperless boarding pass 24 hrs prior to arrival

me: if I print a boarding pass how is it paperless?(see I catch on real quick like that)

Scott: you are correct Mrs Johnson…let me explain….Each Customer will be issued a boarding pass grouped by A, B, or C based on when the Customer checked in or based on the fare they purchased. Because Southwest Airlines maintains an open-seating policy, general-boarding Customers may sit in any open or unclaimed seat. Customers holding boarding pass “A” will begin general boarding, followed by Customers with boarding pass “B,” and then “C.”

me: Oh Ok so you do sell alcohol on the plane right?

Scott: there will be an assortment of beverages for you to choose from in-flight Mrs Johnson, beer,wine and cocktails are $4

me: OHHhhhh I like cocktails

Scott: is there anything else I can help you with Mrs Johnson?

me: I really don’t like to fly Scott so I am sorry for my questions but a girls gotta be prepared, yanno?

Scott: a lil chuckle yes Mrs. Johnson I understand

me: are you putting my name on a watch list?

Scott: NO Mrs Johnson I am not putting you on a “watch” list

me: ok, Thanks Scott, you have been very helpful

Scott: Thank you Mrs Johnson and Thank You for flying Southwest”

OK so I prolly can’t carry on any alcohol but at least I can get good and snockered from Tulsa to Vegas for $4 bucks a gulp and while at my layover in Vegas, I am certain I can blow all my spending money on booze and slots…all the while not having to worry about anyone making it into the mile-high-club! See, one stessor has already been eliminated…

Wish me luck, Lord knows all the other passengers will need it especially since my reservation says I leave at 10:10 and arrive in Vegas at 11am and I fully intend to hold them to that cuz NO where on the southwest policy does it state I may hafta change my watch for different time zones!

My confession for tonight: I wonder if I can get a shot of dimerol before I leave or have a valium drip on the plane-everyone would be happier if I could!

OMFG

Please Excuse the interuption BUT I feel the need to bring this PSA(Public Service Announcement) to your attention:

“Ima leaving ona Jet Plane Friday morning” God help us all!!!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled program

My confession for today: More to come….

Middle bean….

I am…. well to be honest …I don’t know where to start! I am very disappointed, we have a lot going on here at the house and I got a phone call today that I didn’t want to get…

Middle bean was given the option of playing Basketball vs Volleyball today in PE…he chose Volleyball…the PE teachers allowed some banter(that of which middle bean par-took in) to go on…when I say banter, those are not my words those are the dreaded words I heard on the phone today…

We can all define banter right? Well is banter OK in a public school system? My bestie would say this is flat out wrong banter=bullies…

At any rate middle bean racked the crap out of another bean today at school-because of this banter that was allowed. I am very sad my middle bean would touch another bean in any way shape or form…but he did and I get the call…

So in our situation banter consisted of a lil bit of “oh you guys suck” “we can do better” etc…then it escalated to one on one meaning my middle bean vs another bean  & words were exchanged, then the dreaded “rack” occured-I would later find out those words were of “Yo Mama” type words…meaning this lil bean said “I spent the  night with YO mama and she rocked my world” my middle bean didn’t take kindly to that remark…..I giggled and said “son…where was I last night? You know that what that bean said wasn’t true, I was with your dad last night…so what’s the big deal?” It didn’t matter to middle bean, to him this other bean had disrespected me and deserved the rack…

He should have been expelled but they know me and I work there and I am sure they gave him the benefit of doubt so his punishment would be one day in sac….one day in sac?

Do you know what sac is? Well sac is, for the students/beans who um fight, do drugs and drink alcohol(and get caught on school grounds-yep beans do this in the 6th-8th grade, still amazes me tho’) skip detention, (this is where I would like to inter-jeck and say hellions BUT I can not judge another bean for his/her position in “sac”)….the kids who just don’t give a damn….(my bean has NO place in this world of sac)I call it prison-because they are in a room with no interaction,they do their work with no instruction and they eat lunch before all the other students and basically they are labeled-can you believe my middle bean will be labeled?  This goes on his school record! Well….it is what is-he screwed up….made a wrong decision and now he will have to pay the consequences-do you know how much this pains me? 

I made the decision to have him spend the maximum in sac because 1) I am plantin roots 2) it is in his best interest that if he does the crime he does the time and I expect him to learn something from this! 3)well um this is so not how I roll…

Now my middle bean is faced with three days of sac…as hard as it was for me -I knew they were going to give him special treatment because I work there BUT I had to insist he be treated like any other student/bean… one day of sac would not be enough….the max will be 3 days and so be it…he gets 3 days….

Oh I heard it all from him… now my grades will go down all because of you-(his lowest grade is I believe a 99%)  to: I can’t believe you are going to put me in sac for 3 days…I really had NO choice and I don’t scream,yell or say anything other than how disapointed I am…I know I have typed this before IT IS NOT THAT YOU ARE BETTER, BUT YOU ARE SMARTER THAN THAT!!! Was my response and I walk away and let mr gp talk to him. I think that got to him the most that I didn’t freak out…I just said I was disapointed…

With all that said middle bean is grounded/on restriction for 30 days, meaning he can watch TV and thats all…no pc,no celly,no besties nights here OR there,no xbox/ps3…to him his life is over…us adults know better…right?

He was a super sweetheart tonight helping out with ena going to and from oldest beans play-he helped her in and out of the car…He even went and shook the Vice Principle’s hand and apologized for what happend and said they would have NO problems from him next year…Oh I can hope….Lord knows I don’t ever want another phone call like I got today…I was proud of him, he did this before the play, in front of other adults.

I love him and I had to make a very hard decsion today, one I hope I never have to make again….but I am not one of those parents that says….”not my bean” so I suppose one day I will be typing about another one of his bad choices, because, well, that is life and how are they to learn IF they don’t make mistakes…right?

Oldest bean just got home-she has a new boy friend and I so need the distraction…she says “mom he has the prettiest eyes….”

My confession for tonight….I gotta go find out about mr pretty eyes….

Just a bunch of rambling

My daddy who normally is a man of very few words called me the other night sounding very excited and all in a  tizzy over this stuff called mangosteen.

Daddy doesn’t really show excitement or tizzies unless it has to do with horses and trail-rides or perhaps at Christmas time when he wraps our gifts in dog-food bags or gives us money wrapped up in veggie cans-yep he is practical like that.

His phone conversations are generally limited to under 3 mins, BUT not this night, he was all hyped up-maybe it was the fact he thought he could make some money on this mangosteen stuff OR perhaps it was the health benefits promised by this miracle juice-all I heard was it costs a $100 a jug and $35 to join this elite group of juice drinkin junkies and I am like “daddy, how do you make money when it costs $100 a jug?” Plus it sounds like a pyramid scheme to me, but none-the-less daddy is gonna pay the $35 to join and give this mangosteen juice a whirl….

Mr gp and I found ourselves without beans the other night and he wanted to take me to dinner-for most people this is a great thing-for me, it’s a stressor. 

I am a creature of habit(COH) I eat at the same restaurants-where they know us and I don’t even need a menu-I already know what I want, have to park on a certain side of the stores parking lot, for example at Wal-Mart I can ONLY enter on the pharmacy/health and beauty side-even if I am going for groceries which is on the other side of the store, never turn my radio on in the car-geesh I am already a nervous driver so I can’t have any distractions while on the road, sleep with a fan 24/7 & not just any fan it MUST be a box fan- ok maybe that’s a lil more OCD than COH but my point is, I have a very hard time making my mind up when it comes to eating out-I always say “lets try something/someplace new”-but when we pull into the parking lot I can’t make myself exit the big red dog aka the dodge. I just sit there panic’d thinking what if it’s terrible?  So we leave the house at 5pm and finally sit down at 7:30 for dinner at Napoli’s Italian-which is a mile from my house. That huge gap in time up there wasn’t because we time traveled-it was because georgieporgie couldn’t make up her mind where she wanted to eat! Poor mr gp. I would divorce me…

My two older beans came home from school on Tuesday and informed me that 5 boy beans had been expelled from school for smoking weeds-yes they said smoking weeds…I said wacky-ta-backy? They of course laughed at me, then I said mary jane? Again more laughing and they inform me MOM thats a song…I inform them in no uncertain terms that their lives would be over if they ever pulled this kinda crap-I explain… it’s not that you are better than anyone…just smarter!

We also had our very first “flood day” this past week. Noah’s Ark-Esq rains showered us with their presence and made it to where school had to be called off-it was weird mr gp was home, the beans were home and all during the week and there wasn’t any snow out! Middle bean wanted mr gp to take him to game crazy so he could get a new video game-he was bored and he asks me who calls off school because it rained? Well BA does bub-the buses couldn’t get down some roads to get your friend beans I inform him. I want to go to game crazy mommmmm BUT dad won’t take me until Days of our Lives is over… I said just be glad Passions switched over to Direct Tv or you would be waiting even longer! Yep there ya have it mr gp watches daytime drama-shhhhh don’t tell anyone….

Just for the heck of it I checked my gmail account the other day-I have this gmail email as a junk email for when I sign up for freebies and such. Well some of these subject lines really had me crackin up:

Your maid will be pleased like with no one else before!-well hell I am considered a maid around here does that mean I qualify to be pleased like with no one else before!

25 Internet Millionaires did this in secret yesterday! then it goes on to say You’re gunna mess on yourself when you find out what 25 of the World’s smartest & richest Internet Millionaires did yesterday! Well if ima gonna mess on myself I don’t want any part of it

Pen!s length guaranteed to grow-no matter how many times I email them and tell them I do NOT have a Pen!s or a Penis they keep on tryin to entice me to make my nonexistent penis grow.-they may get more biz if they were marketing to the right gender.

Make your thing as big as life-my response, my thing is already larger than life, so top that!

Become more attractive to ladies- this one has possibilities because just in case I all of a sudden become un-attractive to the male species it’s always good to have a back-up plan.

A Special Offer for You: Sport Diver-at first I thought oooo mr gp needs this then I realized it was legit-there is an actual magazine called sport diver-damn

Your Healths at Stake-what? do you know something about my health that I don’t?

Blonde girls do it best-note to self remind mr gp of this

Never Sleep For it Causes Early Death-HUH? are you kidding me, cuz, me without sleep will surely cause your sudden death!

You can now decide how long you want to be-well you can get back to me when I can decide how thin I want to be! 

Getting some is not hard-Getting what, cash? Because so far it’s proven pretty hard!

Increase girth and inches in one easy step-WTF girth?

Do you wanna have a great time in bed with your spouse?-your kidding me right?

Money is it even real?-checks my wallet-ummm in my case, nope

Your XXXlife has never felt this good-how do know what my XXXlife feels like?

Back alley news-as apposed to what? the back-door news?

My confession for today: for a good chuckle check your spam boxes ♥

Because I Can…

Aside from the crazy stuffs that come out of my beans mouths, my life has been pretty boring lately(imagine that) yep even with subbing 2 days this week. So today I think I will share some pics with ya…

That’s my daddy but you can call him Papa George. If you look real close in the background you can see some family pics when I was a lil bean. This pic was taken this past Christmas at my Ena’s house. The pretty lady next to Papa George is my Uncle Tommy’s wife Marilyn and speakin of Ena…

Yeppers thats my Gram-ma BUT DON’Tcall her that she is known as ENA(pronounced E-Naw) to everyone…well OK that’s not her birth given name but yanno…She is one of the Greatest ladies God ever Created.

That is my Mom aka Mimi up there, back In March she celebrated her 57th Birthday, where my family and my sisters and thier families surprised her with lunch at Los Cabos-She LOVES that kinda thing, when the whole family gets together. 

This lovely photo highlights my moms man, Barry and my sisters, Rebecca & Laura. We are at another one of those family gatherings we like to call Christmas. 

See that sunflower on top of the fridge in the pic up there…well, lilest bean has asked Mimi to leave it to her in her Will-it sings yanno.

Please don’t confuse this trio with the Three Musketeers…That tall red-head is my brother-in-law, Chad or Uncle Chad if you are a bean, our middle bean-the Reese-A-Nator(well thats what he said to call him-I only write this stuff) and the one and only mr gp.

Here is a better pic of the Reese-A-Nator…saving the world one amusement park at a time.

Can you guess what they were for Halloween?

Here are the girl beans on halloween, oldest bean is definately “kickin” it 80’s style with the blue eye shadow …did I mention we LOVE Halloween around here

A little more sisterly love…Oldest bean has been tanning and for a red-dee she is getting some color.

What can I say? Boys will be Boys OR maybe it’s the fact I bleached middle beans hair last summer…

I am sorry that pic just cracks me up!

Here’s some of Oldest bean-she changes her hair-style just about every 2 months! Full bangs…

Barely there bangs

Awww that’s my oldest bean showing her Tiger Pride…with NO bangs…

Here’s lilest bean, I think she thinks she is the Queen of Sheeba in this one…at any rate it is before she chopped off all her hair.

Goodness she is so young here and don’t mind the messy fridge-it’s alway covered with pics and notes from school

Lilest bean and our doggers…ginger

Well I wanted to post some pics of my nieces and nephews because they are just flat out adorable but I gotta get permission before I go doing that-I can’t have my sisters upset with me…I also wanted to post middle beans famous OR is it infamous milk-shake video, but I think I will save that for when he gets a serious girlfriend and completely embarrass him!

My confession for today: Confession is good for the soul….

The Life of a Substitute Teacher

Before I start this  lil blogger I wanted you to know that I am sittin here contemplating the whole SAHM aspect of this blog and how I can re-claim that!

So it’s Monday night and I pick up the phone and call the “sub hotline” I listen to my job list and almost push 7 to “cancel” job. I don’t, I have commited myself and even though I would rather walk barefoot on hot coals, I decide this must be done. I lay out my clothes for the following day and try and sleep…

I awake at 5:00 am Tuesday bright eyed and bushy tailed,shower,flat-iron my hair-do,apply my face,sip some go-go juice,watch the news, wake the beans and make them breakfast-it’s their choice,whatever they want-they deserve a hot fresh breakfast, right?

We head off to school/work and I am ready to make an impact on a beans life. I am alert and driven. I have my lesson plans in hand and by golly everyone is gonna have a good day…

1st hour:   I have the only 7th grade class of the day-they are courteous and attentive and I really adore them. They are doing 141 Geography Q’s that we will work on all week together-I have my handy dandy answer key and they have their books -the deal is this: We will work collectively as a group as long as everyone tried to answer a question here and there and I will make sure they have the correct answer IF they try-They do and you will not hear me refer to this 7th grade class again in this blog…they were rewarded with “heads up 7 up” on Friday because they were a GREAT bunch of beans! 

2nd hour: ahhhh my planning period-they tried to take my planning hour away from me later in the week and I threatened to leave and never return and as an added bonus I threatened to remove my 2 beans from the school IF they tried to make me fill in for an absent teacher who couldn’t find a sub…I got my planning period all 4 days…cuz thats how I roll…

3rd hour: a decent bunch of 8th graders,kinda talk-a-tive but I think most student beans always try and see what they can get away with when a sub is present. I lay down the law or ummmm the weekly lesson plans which basically had us reading chapter 15 section 1 through chapter 15 section 4 for the week,then doing a reading guide and re-teaching guide then a quiz per day. We can do this the hard way OR the easy way, I ask them which way they want explained first…

4th hour: another lively bunch of 8th graders,more talk-a-tive then the hour before BUT none-the-less get the same speech as the above class

the HELLION hour: words truly can not describe this class but for the sake that anyone does read this blog I will try. Think of the worst “group” (it MUST be a group) of beans you have ever encoutered then multiply by 10. If you need a refresher course on this class then click here. This class of 30 proudly boasts 4 lovely lil girl beans the rest are all boy beans. They are a chapter ahead of the other 8th grade classes because it is the, gulp longest hour of the day…They get a speech too-just not so much like the previous classes.

6th hour: my oldest bean is in this class and really it is a pretty good class, out of all the 8th grade classes- by far the best class-it is a smaller class 18 beans and 2 were absent so that equals 16…oh they get the speech too…yanno the hard way OR the easy way

7th hour: I seriously think about renaming this class the “hellions part deux” they were the rudest,most disrespectful class of the day, yep even more so than the hellion hour. They get the speech too…and then some…

Just to clarify “the speech” & “the hard way vs the easy way”

The easy way: I have the answer key for everything we are doing for the week and I basically let them know we can read each section in the chapter aloud then answer the guided reading and reteaching guides together as a class,BUT everyone must participate meaning I didn’t want 2 or 3 of the beans answering all the questions I wanted full on class room participation and I would make sure they had the correct answers..in the end everyone would get a 100% for that days class-work. PLUS I would do a quick review of the quiz with them before the quiz(I didn’t let them know BUT I used the actual quiz as the review in class) ALL they had to do was pay attention-the days work would be on the board, YES you need your books everyday this week, YES I will be here the rest of the week…

The hard way: You read silently,I give you the handouts you do them on your own and you get whatever grade it is you get…and the review, you do on your own…oh and by the way YES everything is due at the end of the hour whether you are done or not..and YES you need your book and YES I will be here all week…pretty simple right?

I get this lil folder with pertinant info, like office extensions for ICE,the room key,my teachers badge proclaiming me a sub teacher for the day and a lil sheet I like to call the “Don’t ask IF you really don’t wanna know how my day went” questionaire…I fill it out stating up until 7th hour I feel the day was productive BUT 7th hour was very rude and disrespectful-I drop all of the above off at the office and go home….I did notice there was no happy hour coupon or a stun gun in the folder.

I awake at 5:45 on Wednesday kinda red-eyed and bushy tailed,shower and opt to do my hair curly,apply my face,sip some go-go juice,listen to the news,wake the beans and instead of a home-cooked breakfast they get frozen options that I am more than willing to fix for them…

We arrive at school where the assistant principle greets me at the door so happy that I returned a second day(this teachers sub record isn’t so good-usually they come, show up for a day,  only to NEVER return again…)and asks me to explain who was the problem in 7th hour the previous day-I inform her the whole damn class-they sat where they wanted to,they talked over me,even after I had explained what we would be doing for the day, they were more interested in who was goin out with who and OMG DYK(a lil homage to a fun game) then when I was moving on they would be like WAIT!!!! what are we doing????? she said to expect a visit 7th hour from the principle…

remember I said you wouldn’t hear from 1st hour again because those lil suckers just flat out rock….so on to…

2nd hour: at last check, they didn’t  try to take my planning hour from me EVEN though they were short 2 teachers for the day 

3rd hour: they are very close to “the hard way” but a few stern words an they are back on track

4th hour: again like the previous hour-they really aren’t sure I mean BIZ yet

the HELLION hour: they live up to thier name today,loud,rude,obnoxious,out of control-Thank goodness I wore my comfy clothes today(khakis,white tee-shirt,levi denim long sleeve shirt and gators-in case I needed to run far away) I give them the speech again and let them know they can work independantly and they can get whatever grade it is they get…

6th hour: I find out that I apparently let oldest bean cheat on yesterdays quiz(gotta love the word of mouth-NO really if you need advertising for your biz just turn it into a small rumor and whisper it to an 8th grade girl bean-BELIEVE me it will spread like wildfire!) and that she is getting special treatment because I am her mom…pffffttttt I say I would NEVER ever cheat her out of her education…supposedly I let her re-do yesterdays quiz UNTIL she got a 100%…well she did get to re-do yesterday’s quiz BUT ONLY because she has class-room modifications in effect, while everyone else made a 90% or higher she made a 20% when that happens she allowed to re-take OR re-do her work-technically she should have been able to use her book BUT being her mom I didn’t go that route-she re-took the quiz to get a 70% without a book…

7th hour went smooth because the “principle” was present…One student came in tardy and I was told to mark him tardy meaning he gets afterschool detention…I ask him where his book is…he doesn’t have it, I ask him “didn’t I let you know yesterday that you WILL need your book?” he replies “yes” and the principle says you can go to SAC you are NOT gonna sit here and do nothing! SAC=a no talking, very prison like class room-I could NEVER sub for the SAC class I like to talk to much….

They didn’t give me the “Don’t ask questionaire” today…but I turn in my key and badge and head home….

I am mentally and physically exhausted at this point…mr gp is on the night shift and having to stay awake when he gets home at 7:30am to take lilest bean to school at 9am then come home and try and sleep,I am getting off work running middle bean to track practice,taking oldest bean to tan,then picking up lilest bean,then getting middle bean from track practice,then coming home and trying to cook and do homework-I wanna stop right here and say a lil diddy to all homesteads who have 2 working parents OR even a single parent household, who do this daily regimne(i don’t know if i spelled that right-spell checker isnt working) and pull this off  MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL! Because I am spent! I find myself praying for the asteroid and trying to find a way to bring liquor into the school-house,not to mention my gaylord poster-I mean all things are possible with and IF you have a gaylord poster! I am NOT complaining…just venting…and I REALLY want my SAHM doodies back and back right now!

Thursday I wake at 6:00am bright eyes and bushy tails a thing of the past…I am groggy and not a happy camper,I shower… while downing my go-go juice(YES I am in the shower with a cup of coffee) AND without wetting my hair(I am multi-talented)-it is getting pulled up ina clip anyway…the morning news, whats that? I haphazardly apply my face-I wake the beans and tell them there is cereal on top of the fridge, that it is yo-yo morning(meanin your on your own) Oldest bean looks at me and says “your goin to school lookin like that?” I wonder how many years I would get for a child murder… perfectly justified in my eyes however I opt for the response of “I don’t have anyone to impress, shoot those hellions barely know I am there”

No one meets me at the door today…but thats ok…I pick up my folder,my key and my badge-they are prolly pissed because I refused to give up my plan/free hour…pffftttt to them…

Skip to 3rd hour and they are startin to see I mean buisness-IF I am gonna stand up here and read paragraph by paragraph with you THEN go over the answers with you to ENSURE you get a 100% then by golly you better have your book,pen and paper and be prepared to work!

4th hour pretty much the same as above

The hellion hour: Oh Lord ta Day they chose this day to throw rocks at me, when I say rocks I mean the kind you find in a rock shop, that you fill up in a lil velvet bag(I know this, Thanks, yet again to mr gp and my beans LOVE of rock collecting) they are out of control-I literally have to raise my voice and I ask them “have I been such a bad sub?” “Do they not enjoy having me?” “WHY OH WHY are you acting this way?” I call the office and ask for assistance…while waiting I have flashes of the last time I subbed for this class-when I thought I would surely die or at the very least come out disfigured…it’s 10 mins till lunch time and the assistant principle arrives to go row by row and check pockets for rocks-I seriously doubted she would find any contra-band because I picked up at least $25 worth of rock shop rocks off the floor,out of my shirt and hair-good grief I didn’t need lunch, I needed a drink! The asst principle didn’t find any rocks on any bodies and the students were given a mere 12 mins for lunch…WHY WAS I BEING PUNISHED??? that meant I got those same mere 12 mins for lunch too! No “good” buzz can be had in 12mins….

6th hour: I had a bone to pick this hour, someone accused me of letting oldest bean cheat-if you know me,then you know this couldn’t be farther from the truth(fortunately during my Blessed 2nd hr plan time I got to speak to the actual teacher and let her know what had happened regarding this rumor-she knew better and told me I owed NO ONE an explanation) I chose to give the explanation…I start off by saying one of you or two of you or maybe the whole lot of you thought I let abby have an un-fair-advantage on Tuesday’s quiz,then I asked them if any of them had an IEP OR knew what it meant to have a classroom modification? They didn’t, then I asked them if any of them ever had a rumor started about them, well 90% of the classroom raised thier hands…I told them all, I owed them an apology and that abby had a classroom mod and that meant if she failed a test/quiz/assignment she could re-do it(I wanna stop and say I sent oldest bean to the office with the attendance and asked her to take her time-meaning she wasn’t present for this conversation) I explained that during the past 2 days there were several other students in different hours that had classroom mods in effect and that I had let them re-take thier tests and even let them take thier tests home to re-do…I let them know if they felt they  were given an unfair advantage then they could re-take thier test when Mrs Smith returned to school…the BIG Q of the DAY what did WE make on that quiz…so I called out all test scores, again the lowest being 90%(aside from oldest beans 70%) no one said they wanted to retake the quiz…I asked them to please, not judge, just on sight alone and sometimes things are not as they appear and if they are ever in question they should feel comfy enough to just ask….

7th hour: They are on their best behavior because yesterday we had admistration in our classroom-I do have them read on thier own and work on the hand-out and let them know it’s due at the end of the hour….

What I don’t get is this…IF I am willing to stand up there day after day and read with them,then go over the reading/re-teaching guides with them AND go over the actual quiz with them AND make sure they have the correct answers WHY in the world would they not care OR not try? I didn’t sit down for 4 days, nope I walked back and fro reading and keeping up with hellions who could have cared less…BUT I cared and if I could be a fly on the wall in 35 days when they take thier 2nd semester tests I bet they will remember Chapter 15 section 1-4, my hopes, they pass that section and I will feel like I did a good job during the week of March 24th through the 28th….

I awake Friday morning at 6:30 grab the phone and truly consider canceling the job-yes I have given myself one hour to get ready AND this is typically when I wake the 2 older beans (so there are 3 of us trying to get ready at the same time)…the shower is much needed,the coffee is something I sniff as I am running through the house trying to find a bra and panties,the news is no longer even turned on,my face being applied, is, well applied if you wanna call it that and my hair can longer be called hair…breakfast, I have decided is over-rated and consists of a banana at home and I will give you money for breakfast at school IF you think you REALLY must eat and do not even think about commenting on how I look! I am making a fashion statement…

I arrive at school with my “I ain’t takin your crap” face on-It’s Friday and I actually fit in today-Fridays are casual days jeans and a tee-I should be estactic but I can’t even enjoy the fact it’s Friday,because if they see me smile or happy those hellions might mistake me for kind and compassionate…

The day goes relatively smooth-I had teachers stop in and check on me because they heard of yesterdays rock incident, administration  it seemed, was never out of ear shot! The day goes as smooth as it could…I find myself writing TGIF on the attendance sheets to the office, then it turns into TGIF with a smiley face then TGIF is it 2:40 yet??? The attendance girl calls me and asks if I am ok…I consider telling her that I opend the windows and set the hellions free but didn’t think she would think that was very funny. I keep reminding myself that $55 for 5.5 hrs(5 if you count the 30 min lunch) of work isn’t bad.

A teacher stops by before the end of the day and asks me if I could sub for her next Tues-Thurs…I look around the room then back at her-she says I have all of the same students gulp just not all in the same hour…so I commit to working 3 days for her.

My confession for today: I really need my head examined

I am Legend…

I am not talking the movie either…which btw I really didn’t care for. No, I am Legend to my lilest bean…

Last Wednesday during Spring Break we took a trip to my Favorite Place, just her and I. All the way up there she wanted me to tell her what we would do first,then after that and so on…I was thinking geesh she is just like me, I do the same thing to mr gp. It’s not like reallyplanning, more like dreaming and useing your imagination and picturing it all in your mind…what can I say, that’s how we roll…

I do admit I was a lil bit worried about all the Noah’s Ark rain the area had gotten-would we be able to cross over 2 specific bridges or would we have to turn around and go that really curvy way-which by the way can be a really cool lil drive especially when the clouds are low,it seems like you are driving through them-the beans and I expierenced this about 6 yrs ago when I brought them up and they thought it was the neatest-they still ask are we gonna go through the clouds again? I get car sick going the really curvy way. It was cloudy and cool and we didn’t bring jackets, I kept checkin the temp in the car and the closer we got to ES the cooler it got-Our first stop was the Giant Wind Chime…

We rolled in to town later than we had hoped but still early by most peoples standards-and as soon as we parked the clouds parted,the sun came out and it was just beautiful! We found a parking spot in the lot down from Mud Street Cafe(a perfect central spot for parking and walking back to unload all those packages that lilest bean bought), I needed a $5 but all I had were $20’s to put in the lil box-so we jump out and run up to Romancing the Stone-of course they can’t make change unless you buy something-I respect that butttt I didn’t have time to search for a gift from the Easter Bunny since I am currently breakin the law by parkin and not paying and I didn’t want a ticket or whatever it is you get for parkin and not payin…I find some hair thingies for the girl beans, pay and grab them,my change and lilest bean and runnnn back to the lil pay box I put my $5 in and sigh a sigh of relief. Yea, we are here we start walking back up and I stop and ask lilest bean was our parking spot #42 noooo mom it was #43 Oh SHOOOT…so I grab lilest bean and we runnnn back down to the car and sure’nuff I deposited my $5 in someone elses spot. OK so I put another $5 in the correct slot this time and we are off…

Once the parking spot/slot drama is behind us I take a look around, WOW the town is bustling-I have never been to ES during the week before. Apparently it is spring break for a lot of other people’s too. We see lots of moms & dads with their beans and extended families and friends-I admit I am use to the slower pace of the off-season months but lilest bean didn’t know the difference-the look on her face is priceless-she “gets it!”

She’s the boss,I go where she goes and she chooses her stores by what’s in the window-Glitzees is her first stop,she loved the shop they had “webkinz” and all kinds of cute lil princess bean things. The Rock and Mineral shop was another favorite-we got things for the whole family from the Easter bunny in there-the beans collect lotsa things like sno-globes, pins from places we have traveled BUT they mostly collect rocks…I have mr gp to thank for this. Lilest bean finds an un-opened geode(for her brother),polished petrified wood and a fossil(for her daddy), a HUGE green diamond shaped crystel-like a paper weight(for her sister) and lotsa items for herself. We shop and shop. We don’t do so good on our Rachel Ray $40 a day thingy-Thanks goodness for “Weee-Saaa” yanno, Weee-Saaa going shoppin and Weee-Saaa is my bestie, until the Weee-Saaa bill comes and then I don’t like Weee-Saaa so much! weee-saaa aka VISA!

We decided to have a late lunch at Cafe Santa Fe where we share fajitas and figure out what she wants to do next…

She wants to go and check out The Princess Jessica Eureka House Oh goodness…

The Eureka House for those that haven’t had the luxury of staying there YET is just out of this world awesome! The princess explored every single inch of the house,she studied the pics on the wall and wanted to know who everyone was, I only recognized Ms Margie and Beau-she found a painting of her Favorite movie, The Dorothy Pic by Zeek, she LOVED the stairs, oh my gosh those stairs-because they are at an angle they were super duper cool. J&K had left her some long sparkly necklaces that she wore everywhere-and some flowers that are in a waterless vase in her room right now. She absolutely loved the swing-she wanted me to try it out because it was sooooo much fun,but I didn’t think the swing could hold my bootylicious!  She staked out “her side of the bed” checked out all the movies,opened every single door in the house and once she saw the size of the closet asked if we could sleep in there! What is it with beans and closets? I got one of my BEST nights of Sleep in that downstairs bedroom. She checked out the Satellite tv-which I would have needed a manual and tutorial to figure out but she had it down in 5 seconds flat! She found the games and we played Uno,she wrote in the journal,she loved the sunroom and planned where our everyone in our family could sleep- A HUGE Thanks to Jan and Kim for opening up the Eureka House to us and making lilest bean feel like she was The Queen!

She wanted to go for a drive and explore, so we drove the Historic route and stopped at the Cresent so she could walk around, we explored the grounds and up to the 2nd floor-she wouldn’t ride the elevator because she thought she saw someone in there-she has these episodes where she sees people….at any rate we explored and came down to sit in front of the fireplace when all of a sudden the Piano started playing on it’s own-she got up and watched it play then I couldn’t convince her that it was set to automatically play and she wanted to leave immediately…

We stopped at the ice cream shop where she saw Carolines bunnies roaming around outside the store-she was amazed and now wants a bunny of her own-she is an animal lover and wants to be a vet when she grows up-she can’t watch those aspca commercials without crying…we stopped at sleepy’s where she got her pic taken in the big rocker. The animal planet channel is her favorite with disney a close 2nd…

It was time for the Ozark Mountain Hoe Down…and what a time we had! We were front row center and there for the pre-show. She just LOVED Granny & P.Nutt, I gotta tell ya I have NEVER seen her laugh so hard OR as much as I did this night! After the pre-show I went up to meet Jet aka Jeff with Thach Photography, what a GREAT Gentleman he is!  The Ozark Mountain Hoe Down was a fun family show that everyone should expierence at least once in their lifetime! I was sarenaded by the Blues Brothers and lilest bean sat there laughing so hard while taking pics, to bribe me with at a later date! Then right before intermission she was picked to come on stage and help P.Nutt & Girl, where I sat laughing hysterically and taking pics to bribe her with at a later date…The show was FANTASTIC~!!! At intermission I realized I left something back at the princess jess eureka house that we needed, so we had to leave and missed the last part of the show…we are planning to come back with the whole family this time so they can expierence what we did. Thank you Ozark Mountain Hoe Down and Jeff for making Wednesday night entertainment the BEST!!!

We woke on Thursday to go home and I think lilest bean had that same feeling I always get when it’s time to go home…mixed feelings not really sad because you KNOW you will be back, it’s just how SOON can I get back! All the way home she thanked me and talked about how much fun she had and when can we go back-she said “Mom ima Lifer like you” I giggled because once you visit Eureka Springs you know what I mean about being a “lifer”

My confession for today: I truly am Legend….at least in the eyes of a 10 yr old and I can live with that!

Sisters

I wanna take this time and THANK my mom for the love I feel for my sisters…I dont have brothers and ummm  I dont have boy cousins…but dang-it she sure as hell in-stilled sisterly love in us…

Growing up I was well jealous, of what you say…well prolly the same shit my beans are jealous of….I feel for my mom and it’s only now I realize how hard it is being a  mom! She wasn’t perfect-no one is…but she did the best she could and good grief I am doing the same…the times have changed but the “root” is still there, we all want the same thing in the end…FAMILY…Roots….don’t get me started on wings…

I can’t count on my fingers how many times I have called one sis or another for a pep talk…

My youngest sister got pregnant at a very young age and I so admire her(YEP YOU HEARD ME RIGHT), she now has 3 beans and is still married to her man. Her oldest son, my nephew Casey will graduate this yr and he is everything any mom could ever hope for in a son! Yes he resembles Drew Carey(sorry Casey) but he is a super-star, well rounded and smart, an athlete-right now he is deciding what college he will go to….that is so fantastic…deciding what college to go to…I hope one day to be able to call her and ask her for her advice….

My middle sister yanno the one(and NOT ina bad way…)…we are the same age for 10 days in December(geesh I hated that growing up)…she is the smart one-she went to college and became a Nurse,she married her high-school sweet-heart…what mom wouldn’t want that? Her oldest bean, my nephew, Hayden was born on April Fool’s day…another how cool is that moment? She is living the American dream….I so admire her and I know if I ever needed her I could count on her! She is kinda like my rock…and let me tell ya we have been through some stuff….that’s how I know I could count on her…

So I have shared prolly too much personal stuffs  BUT thats whats makes US, well…US…we are all falable to some degree,no one’s perfect even if we have this perfect senerio set up in our minds…and I am so GREATFUL for my sisters! I honest to God don’t know what I would do without either of them!

SO with that said…a  lil poem:

We are three sisters
Three sisters are we
I love each of you,
And I know you love me

We’re not always together,
Life sometimes keeps us apart.
But we’re never separated
We’re in each other’s heart.

Now I know we’ve had our troubles,
But we always get thru.
The real message is you love me,
And I also love you.

We have had lots of good times
That we’ll never forget
Sometimes we worry
And sometimes we fret

But if God ever gave me
Something special you see,
It might have been the blessing of,
Three sisters are we.
The Lord above has gave me lots
Of happiness and glee
But the most special thing he did was
Make us sisters, all three.

Sister Poems, Three sister’s by Francis I. Gillespie

I am so not a poet and I give credit above…oh my sisters how I love….