Boys VS Girls….very long

Posted by georgieporgie on March 18, 2008

I really didn’t know what to name this blog…it coulda been “I’m NOT one of THOSE moms!” or “Boys duke it out” or one of any other number of things that came to my mind while typing this…but I guess I am sticking with Boys vs Girls. Because I have dealt with far more girl fights vs boy fights…GOD HELP US ALL!

 Do you know that when girls get into a fight they handle it differently than boys? Boy did I ever get schooled this weekend on how boys handle their differences…Girls well they are nasty and malicious,they try and turn others against you-they use words! Hell everyone one knows…”sticks and stones” I can so handle girls-well sorta…maybe, BUT BOYS? 

I think in a previous blog I mentioned middle bean being “left out” or dumped by his friends one weekend. Well Saturday everything came to a head or end or…

I got a call from middle bean Saturday evening, he sounded out of breath and like he had been crying(something I am reminded of BOY’S DO NOT DO! ok ok if ya say so…) I could barely understand him and I heard lots of screaming in the background. I panic and I mean literally panic,middle bean sense’s this and yells to “whoever” is in the background to “Chill out, can’t I even make a call to my mom in private?” he says. Finally he asks me to come and get him, that him and his bestie got into a fight “A fight?” I say “Mom don’t start, just please come and get me”

I wanna stop here and say middle beans bestie has been his bestie since 1st grade and we know his parents very well…both parents work and they have an Auntie that lives in thier home to help out, middle beans bestie also has 3 older siblings 2  boy college age beans(maybe they are adults now BUT that is 100% debatable IMHO) and a girl senior sister-bean. They really don’t know what is going on in their beans lives BECAUSE they are NOT present! BUT they trust their beans and have the auntie sooo they think all is well(I at this point don’t wanna sound hostile and I DO believe EVERY parent should trust their beans!-BUT….I also don’t wanna be “one of those parents”)…I on the OTHER hand, have WAY to much time on hands and I know EVERYTHING(well almost everything) there is to know about my beans…NOT because I pry BUT because they share(is this roots? Good GOD please tell me I have done something right!) and because I sub at their school…kinda hard to hide from things when you sub there…yanno? And don’t think for one second I haven’t heard it all…I even had had one bean ask me what middle bean hates to be called so he could make fun of him! Are these beans really that dense that they would ask the parent this stuff AND do they really think the parent would respond??? This is our future! Good Grief I so hope they Mature!!!

Sorry for the above rant…

So I arrive at his bestie’s house and middle bean is no where to be found, however, I am met like I am a Rock Star-it seems everyone in the neighborhood turned up for my arrival. Middle beans bestie tells me that him and middle bean got in a fight and “HE”isn’t sure why-he is very shakey, then bestie’s Aunt proceeds to spew all this horrible stuff about middle bean, like he “ran away” and he called one of the neighborhood girls a “dick”and he called his bestie a “Jew”etc… I just personally bite my tongue and let her say whatever it is she feels like she needs to get off her chestie…I am trying to practice the rule of “Think before you speak” I am proud of myself for practicing this…

Middle bean finally makes his grand appearance by throwing his bag into the back seat and slamming the car door. I ask him to get out and join us and I Politely ask that the paparazzi  cease and de-sist…the paps comply,middle bean not so much. He is VERY upset and I can tell it is time to go and let him cool off, BUT not before I ask him to apologize to his bestie’s Aunt, she was walking down the street concerned she couldn’t find middle bean and he had scared her and been disrespectful. He complied…

Once home,I ask middle bean to shower and then we will chat(boys are smelly yanno-I never knew this-in THIS sense-I didn’t have brothers!) He has a bloody lip and a huge bite mark on his arm(biting is so what 1 to 2 yr old) goodness

So he is squeaky clean and he crawls in to bed with me and we chat: before we get into the chat I tell him….you CAN NOT TALK LIKE THAT!!!! He is well embarressed he knows better,he screwed up,he sais something he shouldn’t have he was pushed to his limits-so he tells me….(I know boys will be boys and they DO talk like this-THANK YOU SOUTH PARK!) some of this stuff I already knew, Like the fact that he was dumped a few weekends ago,that his bestie has been kickin him and pushing him at school etc…what I didn’t know was that they has been getting into actual “physical” fights yanno punching until ya bleed kinda fights and that on Saturday they got into one of those punchin, bleedin fights and middle beans bestie’s older brother had ummm “egg’d” them on…NOW I know what your thinking Where in the HELL-FIRE was/were the parents??? My thoughts too! Apparently they fought so much that day middle bean had enough-hence the call to me…

Well I gotta tell ya I am heart-broken! First I knew for a fact that middle beans bestie’s parents HAD NO CLUE what was going on-when I type/say this I mean it-the older siblings are the ones who carpool not the parents! Second I was quite pissed off to listen to the Aunt saying middle bean did this and middle bean did that…without for one second stopping and thinking what role did my child/nephew play in this? HENCE the whole NOT my Child mentality! Yanno I really feel sorry for those parents, no really I do, THOSE type of parents are the ones who have their children end up in trouble with the law at a later date yet still have the nerve to say NOT MY CHILD!

After our very long talk,I let middle bean know that I plan on calling his bestie’s parents-something that for a boy bean can be the KISS OF DEATH! Because they are ummm MALE and they don’t need their Moms sticking their noses in stuffs…but middle bean didn’t protest-I hugged him,kissed him and told him IF he had lied to me, well I would find out!

It doesn’t help  that I had NO place to vent…

1)lovely county was down

2) my blog was down

3) the geekster was down

4) my email was down

5)this is NOT how I roll…

6)I had a parent to call

So Sunday comes and well I make that call to the other mom and I am met yet again with all the horrible things my bean has done and said (keep in mind they have NEVER-EVER had a problem with middle bean before) so I listen and I listen….then I start stating facts that I know and can prove and it all of a sudden it gets hauntingly quiet….and the tone turns to OH OK and I am finally heard…they are listening to me…they REALLY are listening to me-it is prolly cause I have proof that contradicts what their bean has said that makes their ears perk up….but non-the-less they are listening….

Middle bean gets a call later that night asking if I can bring him over for a “family” discussion(what should I bring MY family? are we gonna be ganged up on? did they REALLY listen to me?) I do what any mom with “proof” would do…I go…

Yanno that weekend he was ditched-well he was invited to a Christain Concert only to be told they didn’t have room for him….he was invited a week in advance and at the last minute he is told sorrrrryyyyy we don’t have room for you….I find out during the above phone conversation that the parents didn’t even know this happened-hence the family meeting I am certain!

So we show up, middle bean and myself and at first it is still a lot of well, middle bean did this and middle bean did that…UNTIL I started speaking my mind…in a very nice way of course-again I gotta tell ya-these parents that truly think their beans can do wrong-well I feel for ya…

I first and foremost had middle bean apologize for his language(we have always told him his mouth WILL get him in to trouble) We are not your typical parents so we have this open relationship with our beans and well their actions they are accountable for…We can only help out so much …so he apologizes, then I discuss all this pushing and kicking and middle beans bestie is blown away that when I subbed I saw it…and he comes clean, I also address his language barrier via text messages with my oldest bean, again I am met with shock, WOW a parent that actually knows whats going on…WOW a parent that will say something! He had a lot of explaining to do…to say the least-I am NOT proud of the fact that I had to give another parent information about their child…thats never easy NO matter what side your on! The Good Lord Knows I had Heard my fair share of bad-mouthing and info on my middle bean…but still it didnt make me feel good to provide that info…

Then the parents ask middle bean what else has been goin on and he informs them that THEIR children call him “GINGER” at first I am like wait, thats my weenee dogggers name BUT NOPE it is a derogatory statement to him because he is a red-haired freckled faced lil bean…I am truly saddened that my middle bean has gone through this AND with his bestie AND that he thought it was OK!

The “family” meeting was good I think a lot of eyes were opened and I do think things will get better from here…boys are different than girls…they don’t question friendships,they just deal with the name callin,the fightin,the the the…SO, SHOULD you write off your friends???? (and some may question me here BUT I CAN’T CHOOSE THEIR FRIENDS!!!!!)….welll I don’t think so, boys are so different than girls! Just because someone wrongs ya doesn’t mean you write them off…especially at the ripe ol’ age of 12…They are young,they have to make mistakes and they have to learn from all of the above…whether they are to blame or not….will this be the last fight they get into? Hell NO! am I a bad parent for knowng this? Hell NO! Is there a damn thing I can do about it? Hell No!!!!!! I CAN’T CHOOSE THEIR FRIENDS!

My confesssion for today: my beans are NOT perfect and I know it! BUT they are damn close! and I LOVE them!

Spring Break

Posted by georgieporgie on March 13, 2008

Well today at 2:40 the beans will be officially out for spring break. That means my quiet mornings and afternoons will be a thing of the past for the next 10 days. That means I actually got to have “lunch” type foods in the homestead. That means there will be fights galore on the scale of Mike Tyson and the whole ear biting off thingy… I would say fighting like cats n dogs BUT my cat and doggers get along just fine-the beans not so much…

Don’t get me wrong I love having the beans home with me-there is no place I would rather them be,than home with me but it seems they don’t like each other that much sometimes.

I am certain I will be accused of loving one bean more than another bean at least 50 million times during the next 10 days,or that I let this bean get away with murder, or that this bean always gets what he/she wants and said bean doesn’t,that I treat this bean better than I treat this bean…and so on….

Oh it will be a joyous time and I have the solution to their Mike Tyson-esque’ fighting-I am gonna pimp em out! Yep each time they start fighting or arguing they will do a chore,yanno something they really hate, like vaccuming,dusting, sweeping and mopping, cleaning the toliet with a toothbrush all FOR FREE and TOGETHER. If that doesn’t work then I may just take em to a busy intersection with a big ol’ sign that reads ”I Don’t Play Well With Others” and have them standout there and wave to people as they drive by…maybe that will make them think twice before trying to kill someone in the homestead!

I know as a bean growing up my sisters and I fought,I know it’s normal that they fight-I mean these people who think everything between siblings should be candy apples and roses perplex me….so we fought and we are OK-right? Well I guess that’s debateable, but I think we are ok…I LOVE my Sisters and don’t know what I would do without them! My goal one day they will love and enjoy spending time with each other, Like I do with my sisters…

We had a HUGE problem here the other day lilest bean wore one of oldest beans zip-up,short sleeved cute green jackets to school-without asking permission! “If I was a GOOD mommy, I would have known this”-I was informed when oldest bean saw her in her attire-well in all fairness to me, it DID fit lilest bean and GEESH I can’t honestly be expected to keep up with what I actually buy each of the beans, am I? I don’t think oldest bean has ever even worn that green jacket and I am pretty sure when I bought it, I bought because it was $1.99. Had I been able to see into the future and known what chaos this lil green jacket would have caused, I prolly would have passed on it….So I hafta have this talk with lilest bean about other peoples belongings and stuff and her reply is “but it’s N-O-T-T-T other peoples stuff, it’s Abby’s” “but still we have to ask to borrow someone else’s things”, I tell her…she apologized to her big sister and all was good for at least 10mins before another fight/argument breaks out…

So my ex is taking oldest & middle bean to Six Flags over Texas next week. I am very happy that he will get to spend some good ol’ Mike Tyson,ear biting-fightin time with them two!  There is nothing quite like being coop’d up in a car with more than one bean for any amount of time! I wish him luck….

I am taking my lilest bean for an over-niter to Eureka Springs so she can feel like she has a story to tell/write about when she goes back to school and everyone writes “what I did on spring break….” Well thats not entirely true, I do want her to have someting to write about, but I also just want to get-away with her so we can bond and have some “mommie n me” memories and what better place than in Eureka Springs!

I have compiled a list of 3 places so she can choose where we stay,she has already said she wants to eat at the “victorian” mcdonalds & subway(I say we can do better BUT she’s the boss for this trip) I wanna stop and say during my “motel” hunting I found some GREAT rates and more people just willing to take my $$dollars$$ BUT one place which I will not name refused a one nighter during the week, I have to admit I was shocked, I have NEVER-EVER had anyone say “Thanks but No Thanks” basically we are holding out for someone who actually WANTS to stay longer than one nite is how I felt. Needless to say and this pains me to say this… I will never reccomend this establishment and to be honest with you I can find the good in any person,place or thing. This just completly surprised me-But with that said I am glad they are doing so good they can turn away biz…

So hopefully by tonight we will know where we are staying and if I know my lilest bean she is probably already packed and ready to go even though we aren’t leaving until next Wednesday…it is good to see that smile on her face, i just know she is gonna find new things she loves about ES and as she gets older and has her own family she will remember the times I took her to Eureka and maybe do the same with her children…

My confession for today: Life is like a box of Chocolates…and my lil weenee dogger just dug in the trash and ate rotten chocolate covered strawberries…

1,467

Posted by georgieporgie on February 10, 2008

Yesterday was full of DRAMA…  

My oldest bean is a member of advanced drama and she had a day long Theatre Festival-which means all the middle school drama classes,along with the 2 intermediate schools and the high school come together on this day and make you giggle your hearts out!

Oldest beans play was called “Check Please”  and the play is set in a restaurant with varing dating disasters-at first I am thinking what could 8th grade beans possibly know about dating yet alone dating disasters… My precious bean was suppose to be a 24 yr old young lady(gulp) who was set up on a blind date with a young man who thinks he is 9! It,she,he,they were VERY funny! Bravo,Encore I yell…I am the proud mama, I mean I could have  the next Audrey Hepburn living under my roof! Mr Georgieporgie grabs my arm and pulls me back into my chair-”hun, the play isn’t over” he informs me…OHhhhh OKkkkkk… Ya-see I get very excited when it comes to anything my beans are doing,maybe it’s because I moved schools every single year until the 7th grade,sometimes twice in a calendar school yr! Or because I could NEVER  do what my beans have accomplished…at any rate I was very proud of her!

I realized they didn’t need to know one thing about dating disasters-they had a script and a wonderful drama teacher guiding them to surely “Oscar Making History!”  What a wonderful way to spend a Saturday…

When we arrived home the sperm donor errrr ex was waiting with my middle bean-(whom he picked up Friday evening) to pick up oldest bean-how dare he miss one of the most important days of her young life…ah-ha, not one, BUT two flat tires…I keep my comments to myself, just like I have done for the past 14 & 1/2 yrs and let him know he missed a great show! I help her pack a bag and give her lots of hugs n kisses and send her off with her father.

Mr georgieporgie is working weekend nights meaning he leaves at 6pm and returns home at 7:30 the next morning,so he is getting ready for work when my youngest bean comes to me and says “Mommy can I go to Julie’s* house and stay the night?” Huh? What? Ummmm….well…. “I know you will be all by yourself mommy and if you want, I won’t go, BUT  I really wanna go” This is the child who NEVER leaves me-I don’t have to share her with anyone, except the occasional Grandma over-nighter,whom KNOWS how to dress for a Tea-Party and she wants to go stay the night with a friend? (yeah I know I have some abandonment issues I really need to deal with) So I let her go-she hugs me and kisses me and tells me “Thank You Mommy”  I ask her to call me and tell me night-night-I get, “the look!” Ok, Ok I will call you and tell you night-night, again, I get, “the look!”  Reluctently… Okayyyy I will see you in the morning…

WoooooHooooo I am free,I have the house to myself,I don’t have to answer to anyone! Let’s P-A-R-T-Y! So, I do what any, self-respecting married,mother of 3 would do…

I visit my local video store. According to Super Video, I have rented 1,467 movies…some may say “Georgie, you REALLY need to get out more!” BUT we all know what happens when I “get out more” and if you dont click here and be prepared to spend the day in the life of a substitute teacher.

You know it’s really bad when, you have to take a movie to the counter and ask the clerk, “Can you check and see if I have rented this movie before?”  and their reply is… “Wow, you have really rented a lot of movies!”  I settled on 3 movies, The Bourne Ultimatium,Earth Storm and Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls…  I stay up until 3am because I “hear noises” and apparently so does Ginger(my lil wee-nee doggie) I pop a tylenol pm why:

1)That’s how I roll

2)It IS 3am

3)That’s how I roll…

I must have fallen asleep because I awoke at 11 am to a snoring mr georgieporgie(whom btw swears he doesn’t snore) and a wee-nee dog licking my nose…

My confession for today: Roots and Wings(which will be explained in a future blog)

I feel like I’ve been run over by a mack truck!

Posted by georgieporgie on February 1, 2008

I have known about this day for a week now, at first I was like, “sure I’d Love to”. As Feb 1st drew near, I started second guessing my decision. When I woke this morning I found myself wishing the schools would be closed for a snow day,maybe I would have a flat tire,pink eye is always good, or a big ol asteroid would fall from the sky, stopping time itself, anything, Please God help me out here. Ya see I am adicted to this blogging thing(Thanks J&K) and I realllly wanted to stay home with my life-size poster of gaylord and blog my lil heart out- No such luck!

 I haven’t really worked  much at the school this semester,but the few times I have, have been nothing  short of glorious-even scored a 5th hour plan(which means you are off from 11:17-1:01-woohooo was that ever nice)  

So I gather up the beans and head to school for another glorious day of subbing-or so I thought!

I was “suppose” to have 2nd hour plan-not bad, but, NOT a 5th hour plan time. As soon as I check in I am told “we are gonna have to pull you, to, fill-in 2nd hour, for art- we are 6 teachers down today”-WHAT? NO plan time? No free time? No break? Can I pee today, please…. Huh? Excuse me….Lord, if you can hear me-Please send that asteroid now!

By the end of first hour I was wishing I had brought a flask to school for a lil nip here n there…Hey so I got flipped off-no biggie right? If that’s all they got then I say bring it on! I shouldn’t have even thought those thoughts!

By the end of 2nd hour(my oh so needed plan time-that I wasn’t deemed worthy enough to recieve) I came to the conclusion that either the art room has a very funky smell OR the boy beans in this class smell, and I mean smell reallll bad! Do these beans not shower??? So now, not only am I need of that flask, but a nose plug is in order-I sip my water pretending it’s vodka!

3rd hour was a lil bit easier-maybe it’s because at this point I am actually believing my water IS Vodka! With every sip I can see my life-size gaylord poster and he is calling to me…Or maybe it’s because I realize God isnt sending that astroid I prayed for. I thank Gaylord for getting me through 3rd hour.

4th hour I am really getting the hang of this-give the beans a test,don’t get to close to the boy beans-they are smelly, then pop in a movie of the Oklahoma Land Rush-Oh you brought your ipods and you wanna listen to music? Sure-just be quiet Ok? I am liking this fantasy I got going on here! Plus I realllly gotta pee…and now I am thinking a flask wouldn’t cut it-I need the whole darn bottle. 

My day really started going downhill by 5th hour-I realized at this point, that I have gotten accustomed to a few things this week. Like this blog,hanging with my life-sized gaylord poster,visiting the park,yanno all the important stuff. 10 mins into my 5th hour a fight breaks out, and in my attempt to break it up(I mean, I have 3 beans, I am use to breaking up fights-right?) I get slugged right in the face,a desk is thrown on top of me and I am stepped on, because:

1)Thats how I roll(and I do mean roll, like fetal position)

2)These beans DO NOT  listen to me like my beans do!

3)My reaction-reflexes must be slow due to the fact I invisioned my H2O was in fact Vodka

4)I can’t think of a 4th…

Thank the Good Lord a teacher(who was fortunate enough to get HER plan time) passed by and heard the commotion and came to my rescue-Oh I am forever in her debt! Ya wanna know what I realized? Of course you do….you’ve read this far haven’t you? When a fight breaks out, these beans cheer the fightee’s on-yep they do! They do not at any point stop and think or say “Hey sub down!” “hey guys you just hit a sub/teacher” “hey guys you just threw a desk on the sub/teacher” etc….NOPE they cheer and they cheer loudly!  Luckily word travels fast at the beans school and there were many teachers to aide in stopping this fight and help me out of my fetal position-my neatly pulled up hair now looked like I had stuck my finger in a light socket,my leg hurt from where the desk hit me and my cheek was throbbing-one other thing I realized, those boy beans can hit hard and they are “equal opportunity hitters” it dont matter your race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. If you are in their way, you are fair game….

I am promptly escorted to the principles office(geesh I haven’t been in the principles office since my own middle school days) I was scared and I was shaking and I so wish this school was a BAR! I was fussed over, I was offered water,the school nurse came to check me out,the halls were alive with… did you hear oldest bean & middle beans mom was in a fight…I was a hero, I was a legend! I needed a drink! I was offered  the rest of the day off-with pay even…yep I was…but all I could see (besides gaylords life size poster) was my 2 beans faces-heck my deoderant even says “Never let em see you sweat”  I declined, I am NO quitter, plus the day was just getting good-I had to hold my head up high, for my sake and the beans!

Needless to say 6th & 7th hours were relatively boring compared to 5th hour,prolly cause I had a chaperone-I am a lil sore,a lil embaressed and already hitting the wine and I don’t expect to stop for several hours!

And the Barvarian said I need to get out more….see what happens when I get out????

Why are girls so mean?

Posted by georgieporgie on January 30, 2008

No, really, why are girls so mean? It’s only Wednesday and both of my girl beans have come home in tears. Was I a mean girl when I was younger and now I am being paid back? I bet it’s because I keep taking peeks at that gaylord pic!

Take my Oldest bean, thats her right up there… she’s my people pleaser,wants to make everyone happy type of bean-doesn’t have a mean bone in her body(except when it comes to her sibling beans) she would do anything for anyone, a very kind-hearted lil bean. Well she gets home from school throws her purse,backpack,cheer bag and some books on the floor(gosh thats a lot of stuff for one day of school) and starts crying and says we are never taking Lola (names have been changed to protect the innocent) to school again-

Ok I’ll play along, why? I ask.  Our conversation went like this…

oldest bean: Well mom we have a pep assembly coming up and today at cheer practice we all had to vote on who we wanted to do certain things and “Lola” went and told everyone NOT to vote for me. NOT VOTE FOR ME!

me: Oh….

oldest bean: Yes MOM she did that and she has been talking about me telling everyone I am a stuck B-word, mom, mom did you hear me? She called me a stuck up B word and she’s always talking crap about me.

me: Yes-I hear you, well….

oldest bean: I am so sick of her crap, I never never never talk about her mom, why does she do this me? I have never done anything to her and when I do hear other people talking about her I just listen mom, I never say anything. MOM?

me: Yes well here is what i think….

oldest bean: I am calling her right now and telling her I am sick of her crap and WE ARE NOT taking her to school ever again mom, she is just useing me for a ride mom! I think she wants my life, she stole my boyfriend last year, you remember that right mom?

me: yes and….

oldest bean: well I am putting an end to this friendship right now. Thanks for all your help mom.

me: completely dumbfounded Ok honey no problem

So she calls this lil girl and I kid you not, says ” Lola, we aren’t taking you to school anymore!” brief pause “You will hafta ask my mom!” click. So I am standing there and say “you really told her, and by the way, what will she hafta ask me?” she replies, she asked me why we can’t take her to school and I told her she will hafta ask you! Oh?

A few hours later I get a call from Lola’s mom-she was very nice and said she understood the girls were having some problems, so I politely tell her-let’s just let the girls work this out, she says she will have a talk with Lola. So I am sitting here browsing the lovely park bench taking peeks at that “PIC” and I hear screaming and yelling-I am torn here, do I dare take my eyes off of that, oh so hot picture OR go investigate? I mean someone could be bleeding to death, I go investigate turns out Lola called oldest bean and now oldest bean is really telling her she is sick of her crap, no, really, she is and she is telling her very loudly. I commence my bootylicious back on the park bench when I hear M-O-MMMMMMMM can you take me to Lolas? she is crying and I want to give her a hug. Well it’s kinda late, P-L-E-A-S-EEEEEE mom-2 hours and 2 beers later, all is well in oldest beans world, her and lola have worked everything out, I am yet again taking her to school. Wonder what today has in store for the beans? As Mary J Blige would say NO MORE DRAMA!