I feel like I’ve been run over by a mack truck!

Posted by georgieporgie on February 1, 2008

I have known about this day for a week now, at first I was like, “sure I’d Love to”. As Feb 1st drew near, I started second guessing my decision. When I woke this morning I found myself wishing the schools would be closed for a snow day,maybe I would have a flat tire,pink eye is always good, or a big ol asteroid would fall from the sky, stopping time itself, anything, Please God help me out here. Ya see I am adicted to this blogging thing(Thanks J&K) and I realllly wanted to stay home with my life-size poster of gaylord and blog my lil heart out- No such luck!

 I haven’t really worked  much at the school this semester,but the few times I have, have been nothing  short of glorious-even scored a 5th hour plan(which means you are off from 11:17-1:01-woohooo was that ever nice)  

So I gather up the beans and head to school for another glorious day of subbing-or so I thought!

I was “suppose” to have 2nd hour plan-not bad, but, NOT a 5th hour plan time. As soon as I check in I am told “we are gonna have to pull you, to, fill-in 2nd hour, for art- we are 6 teachers down today”-WHAT? NO plan time? No free time? No break? Can I pee today, please…. Huh? Excuse me….Lord, if you can hear me-Please send that asteroid now!

By the end of first hour I was wishing I had brought a flask to school for a lil nip here n there…Hey so I got flipped off-no biggie right? If that’s all they got then I say bring it on! I shouldn’t have even thought those thoughts!

By the end of 2nd hour(my oh so needed plan time-that I wasn’t deemed worthy enough to recieve) I came to the conclusion that either the art room has a very funky smell OR the boy beans in this class smell, and I mean smell reallll bad! Do these beans not shower??? So now, not only am I need of that flask, but a nose plug is in order-I sip my water pretending it’s vodka!

3rd hour was a lil bit easier-maybe it’s because at this point I am actually believing my water IS Vodka! With every sip I can see my life-size gaylord poster and he is calling to me…Or maybe it’s because I realize God isnt sending that astroid I prayed for. I thank Gaylord for getting me through 3rd hour.

4th hour I am really getting the hang of this-give the beans a test,don’t get to close to the boy beans-they are smelly, then pop in a movie of the Oklahoma Land Rush-Oh you brought your ipods and you wanna listen to music? Sure-just be quiet Ok? I am liking this fantasy I got going on here! Plus I realllly gotta pee…and now I am thinking a flask wouldn’t cut it-I need the whole darn bottle. 

My day really started going downhill by 5th hour-I realized at this point, that I have gotten accustomed to a few things this week. Like this blog,hanging with my life-sized gaylord poster,visiting the park,yanno all the important stuff. 10 mins into my 5th hour a fight breaks out, and in my attempt to break it up(I mean, I have 3 beans, I am use to breaking up fights-right?) I get slugged right in the face,a desk is thrown on top of me and I am stepped on, because:

1)Thats how I roll(and I do mean roll, like fetal position)

2)These beans DO NOT  listen to me like my beans do!

3)My reaction-reflexes must be slow due to the fact I invisioned my H2O was in fact Vodka

4)I can’t think of a 4th…

Thank the Good Lord a teacher(who was fortunate enough to get HER plan time) passed by and heard the commotion and came to my rescue-Oh I am forever in her debt! Ya wanna know what I realized? Of course you do….you’ve read this far haven’t you? When a fight breaks out, these beans cheer the fightee’s on-yep they do! They do not at any point stop and think or say “Hey sub down!” “hey guys you just hit a sub/teacher” “hey guys you just threw a desk on the sub/teacher” etc….NOPE they cheer and they cheer loudly!  Luckily word travels fast at the beans school and there were many teachers to aide in stopping this fight and help me out of my fetal position-my neatly pulled up hair now looked like I had stuck my finger in a light socket,my leg hurt from where the desk hit me and my cheek was throbbing-one other thing I realized, those boy beans can hit hard and they are “equal opportunity hitters” it dont matter your race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. If you are in their way, you are fair game….

I am promptly escorted to the principles office(geesh I haven’t been in the principles office since my own middle school days) I was scared and I was shaking and I so wish this school was a BAR! I was fussed over, I was offered water,the school nurse came to check me out,the halls were alive with… did you hear oldest bean & middle beans mom was in a fight…I was a hero, I was a legend! I needed a drink! I was offered  the rest of the day off-with pay even…yep I was…but all I could see (besides gaylords life size poster) was my 2 beans faces-heck my deoderant even says “Never let em see you sweat”  I declined, I am NO quitter, plus the day was just getting good-I had to hold my head up high, for my sake and the beans!

Needless to say 6th & 7th hours were relatively boring compared to 5th hour,prolly cause I had a chaperone-I am a lil sore,a lil embaressed and already hitting the wine and I don’t expect to stop for several hours!

And the Barvarian said I need to get out more….see what happens when I get out????